Expression of Anger

Q) When I get annoyed, I stomp around the house and generally let every one know I'm angry. My wife hates it, but I feel it's good to let off steam.

A) Not so good, I'm sorry to say. Venting anger plugs right into the anger. It doesn't get you out of it. Aggression begets aggression. Watching violence on TV encourages violence in the real world, ditto for violent video games. In addition, your anger upsets the mood all around you, making you as well loved as Attila the Hun.

If you can, the best thing you can do is to put anger aside for the moment, get into music, a project, a book. The issues will keep. Come back to them. That does not mean drop it forever, pick it up again in a more considered way, at an appropriate time.

What about exercise? Well, if you continue to focus on the annoyances while you exercise, the additional physical arousal could actually make the anger greater. If you can drop the issues from your mind, exercise helps. Of course, yoga, tai chi, and even karate are tied into a meditation practice and will quickly get you out of your bad headspace.

One other thing to note, anger just isn't good for the cardiovascular system. Learning to modulate annoyances not only will endear you to your wife, it will let you stick around longer to bug her longer.

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